Fear

Fear has so much power for a four letter word.  It has robbed people of opportunities, employment, relationships, and joy to name a few.  Why do we let it have such power over us?

I know in my experience that there were many years that I had fears of stepping out to new things.  I was comfortably numb (I bet you just sang that didn’t you) so I just let it be (and you sang that too).  I thought I was too heavy and uncoordinated to be an athlete.  I never did well in sports, I did so poorly that I would barely pass PE.  I was an A and B student in almost every area but that.  Now, I recognize that the fear held me back from doing some very fun things.  Fear of falling keeps me off of a bike, fear of how it feels when I open my eyes underwater and not plugging my nose keeps me from swimming like I wish I could.  Both of these things keep me from doing much more than dreaming of competing in a triathlon.  The running I am finally unafraid to do, the running I have embraced and continue to push harder on.  Heck fear is even getting in my way of a handstand.

So beyond the confessions above here is the big fear that I know is getting in my way right now.  I AM AFRAID I WILL NOT PASS THE CPT EXAM BECAUSE OF THE ANATOMY AND PHYSIOLOGY PART.  Seriously, this is stressing me out a lot.  I hear my voice saying, you have never been good at science every time I go to read it.  So what do I do about it?

I am working on telling that voice to shut up.  I’m calling it out for what it is, fear, just stupid fear.  I am intelligent and I can do a lot of things, so who is to say I can’t do this?  Most of all I am going to have to step out in faith that I can do this and push through.  I want this, I want to understand my body and the human body in general better.  I will focus on my motivation when I feel weak.  I will also take any suggestions that you all have on how to learn this stuff.  Seriously, any suggestions on learning how muscles, nerves, tendons, bones, joints, the glands, and cardiovascular system work together is welcome.

I let fear rule my life for way to long and have possibly missed out on things that are important to me.  I am learning to not let it rule my life by stepping out and going for the things I want.  I am training to run a seemingly insane distance, because I want to and I love it.  So I got this, right?  In fact if when I pass my CPT exam I will buy a bike and learn to ride it because 37-38 years old is not to late.  What fear do you want/need to overcome?

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