Don’t stop believing…

Ironically I can’t believe that I was able to finish 9 miles today and the bonus, I can still walk.  Every once and awhile I get a notion in my head and I don’t stop until I do whatever it is I am thinking about.  Generally they are very harmless notions that just become a matter of stubbornness to do whatever it is.  I suppose it’s an immature part of me that is still around, but I can use it for good rather than evil; today was one of those days.

I didn’t wake up super early, I found that my body really needed to sleep a bit so I was unconscious until around 8 am.  I got up ate a little bit and got a few necessities done before I left.  I took a look at my phone and it said it was still in the 80’s and I had this little thought creep in…maybe I can still run outside.  You see there is a park not too far away that looks shaded and like it has a nice running/walking path.  I took my Nuun filled water and decided that I would check it out and if it didn’t have a path (I hadn’t actually established this yet) I would go on to the gym. It had a path…

So two miles later while running at the park I started feeling the heat, a lot.  I got a bit dizzy as I heard 2 miles on my phone and decided I should finish my Nuun water and sit down.  I sat in my air conditioned car for a bit and decided to go to the gym to try and finish.  See this is where the stubbornness kicked in again, not only did I have to try and run outdoors, but I had to finish what I started.  I packed up, got more water, and drove to the gym to visit my friend the treadmill.

I would not recommend doing this to anyone, really it was stupid of me to do the outdoor running that late in the day and in particular without more hydration and preparation.  Then to follow up and finish it when my body was so tired, was not that smart either.

I am however very proud of myself for accomplishing it, because it wasn’t easy.  Running is more of a competition with yourself than anyone else and I beat that weaker self.  The one that was ready to throw in the towel and say at least I tried.  Here is the part that really surprised me: as I finished Journey came on with Don’t Stop Believing and I started to cry.  That is the song I am going to play as I cross the finish line and when I crossed over this hurdle I pictured how I am going to feel when I finish the real race too.  Each step though, is a race against myself.  The part of me that says “no one will know if you don’t run today”, “why are you doing this”, and “what are you really getting out of this”.  I will know, I’m doing it because I can, and I am getting a stronger body, stronger will, and increased confidence out of this.

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