Building strength when I feel weak #WhatsBeautiful

Today is one of those days where I had to push myself to workout.  It doesn’t happen to me all that often really.  Most of the time I feel really weird on rest days and still end up being a bit active.  Today though I just wasn’t feeling it…but I got to the gym and got in the door.  I actually stood there for a few minutes in the workout area mentally arguing if I was going to stay and do something or call it a day and just walk out.

I wasn’t feeling well physically and mentally.  In my experience it is sometimes hard to tell if I am getting ill or exhausted or if it is more of an emotional issue.  So I texted my best friend, got on the elliptical, and started moving.  As I was going and getting support from her I started to feel better and energized.  As I finished my workout I thought to myself, I wonder how many workouts or opportunities to get active I gave up in the past thinking I was ill, when I was just depressed.  My guess is probably quite a few times in my life and I know I am not alone.

Well, today I may not have worked out my hardest, but I worked out.  In the scheme of the 13.1 training I am only supposed to do 20 minutes of strength training and I did that, so I am staying on track.  Tomorrow, I hope to feel better and hit it hard.  The schedule is 4 miles and it’s been a while since I have done that so I am not expecting a record breaking pace.  It’s something you have to work up to, just like sometimes you have to stand there in the gym and talk yourself up to get in there and do something.  We all have days like that; we all have doubts.  The truth is that even the strongest person with the healthiest self esteem is going to have bad days.  The real judge of character and strength is whether you let it defeat you or not.  I chose to not let it defeat me

So tomorrow, I will get up, I will get active, I will stay focused on what I want and need to accomplish.  I will Skype with my family and make plans for our visit.  I will watch some shows that make me smile, and enjoy the sun on my face.  I may even get my punching bag back out and smack it around.  I am building my strength when I feel weak.  I choose to not let my depression rule my life. #WhatsBeautiful

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