Getting comfortable in my own skin…

I went for a walk by myself after dinner tonight, I had a need to get some peace and to think.  While I was walking it occurred to me that the thing I really seek is to be comfortable in my own body.  Sounds weird maybe, but after so many years of being heavy and now not I can’t say that I am comfortable with my body.  I enjoy that I can now run, jump, have some type of grace, lift things, and feel stronger, but somehow it is still surreal.

I was looking at one of my previous posts where I talked about feeling fat even when you aren’t.  I still have that feeling on occasion and have to work my way through it.  I do this in many ways, sometimes by going back and looking at my old pictures and sometimes by looking in the mirror.  One of the biggest ways that I am working at getting comfortable in my own body is by using self talk.  By this I mean I say in my head, that I am healthier now and that is what matters the most.  I remind myself of the positive changes that I have seen and that I feel.

It’s true my body is smaller in all areas, but the best thing I am doing for myself is getting up, getting active instead of eating out of stress, and eating healthier foods.  So I still have some rolls in my stomach area, not sure how much of that will ever go away, but now I can’t and don’t eat a medium pizza by myself just because I am upset.  Now I go for an after dinner walk or write in a journal (on line or otherwise). I strive to learn new things to challenge myself and that I can apply in the future to other people.  I don’t just keep eating or grab more of those mashed potatoes or ice cream for comfort.

Another way that I work to get comfortable with my body is that I get physical on a regular basis.  There is a type of therapy out there called somatic therapy that deals with movement of the body.  It’s thought that when accidents or trauma of sorts happens that the brain and body disconnect.  I am fortunate to not have experienced any trauma, but I still believe that movement will help my brain and body connection.  So I get out and get physical, it helps me feel in tune with my body. Every ache in my muscles, blister on my hands or feet, and stitch in my side is a reminder that I am doing it, I am taking care of myself.

Anyway this is my journey, the things I am doing to try and get comfortable with my body.  I hope it inspires some thoughts for you or is helpful.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Gary
    May 05, 2013 @ 13:24:12

    You have made some terrific, awesome changes in your life. I admire you and I applaud you for all of that! Keep up the good work!


  2. Formerlyfatgirl
    May 06, 2013 @ 01:48:12

    Thanks dad. 🙂


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